From Overworked to Overjoyed
How I left the corporate grind for Italy and started living my dream life
A nicer, better edited and probably more insightful version of this article was published by Business Insider as I moved to Italy after grinding in tech jobs at Google and TikTok. I'm now living my dream life. Here, I’m sharing my first rough draft because everything I discuss in this article is very close to my heart.
In May 2023, on a regional train from Naples to Pompeii, I was reading a memoir by an American woman who had moved to Naples for an internship, met the love of her life, and, despite indulging in ragù and sfogliatella on a daily basis, somehow lost twenty pounds. Lucky her, I thought. Probably, with slight envy.
I, on the other hand, felt exhausted. I had dark circles under my eyes from working myself to the bone across time zones, my skin dulled from endless hours staring at a screen.
Even being on vacation from my big tech job didn’t make much of a difference. My phone kept buzzing with messages pulling me into yet another crisis the company was involved in at the time. Sema, sorry to bother you, but can you just forward this document? Can you please weigh in on this? Can you jump in a meeting real quick?
As the train approached Pompeii, I slipped my fingers through the narrow opening of the window to touch the breeze and thought of my week ahead. I was going to be on the Amalfi Coast, among citrus trees, diving into turquoise waters, and eating plenty of seafood. For exactly one week. Then the grind would start again until I began the countdown to the next small window of opportunity when I could take some days off.
Little did I know that I would come back from that vacation a changed person, and less than two years later, I would permanently relocate to Italy.
Fast forward, and my life now mirrors the countless memoirs of women (it really is a genre!) who left the grind to move to Italy in pursuit of their dream life. I am, proudly, no longer a part of the corporate hamster wheel.
I’m in love with the man who is now my husband, starting my days with delicious caffè doppio in the neighborhood café where everyone knows each other. Truthfully? Listening to my neighbors' latest scandalous revelations — like how a certain signora divorced her husband after he gifted her a giant fish for their wedding anniversary — is much more fulfilling than spending countless hours in meetings that could have been an email.
Since moving to Italy, I’ve realized that it’s not the dolce far niente, romanticized in popular culture, that brings true fulfillment. Rather, it’s the conscious rejection of living a postcard version of yourself that leads to joy.
When I first moved to Italy, I was greeted with its picture-perfect facade. Largely thanks to “the algorithm,” I found myself in long queues before grand monuments, crowded trattorias, and eating the same three pasta dishes on every menu.
Unfortunately, the recommendations lead us to viral hotspots rather than the places where Italians actually go. Every day, Italians go to unassuming trattorias where office workers, construction crews, and shopkeepers eat alongside families. A full meal with pasta, a side of vegetables, and a glass of house wine costs no more than 10 euros. As my Italian teacher says, only the stupidi and the turisti eat gelato in places where they charge you extra for the cream.
The meals Italians eat, while tasty, are undecorated. My favourite are plates made up of beautifully arranged vegetables: radicchio drizzled with olive oil, roasted zucchini with a hint of garlic, and sweet, blistered peperoni softened in a pan. The pasta plates are small and, if you are eating out in a truly Italian place, freshly made. The pizza al taglio is eaten standing up, folded in half, with no concern for presentation. And then there are the dishes tourists rarely encounter: coda alla vaccinara, slow-braised oxtail steeped in tradition; trippa alla romana, a dish of tender tripe simmered in tomato sauce that nonnas swear by.
I've come to realize that the true heart of Italian cuisine isn't found in viral recommendations, just as the authentic trajectory of our lives isn't determined by the expectations imposed by society or culture.
My girlboss era felt like an Instagrammable cacio e pepe; while technically correct, it lacked soul. My life in Italy, on the other hand, resembles a fiery amatriciana, the kind that paints your shirt with tomato sauce, juicy and rich.
Am I worried about losing the financial comfort blanket big tech jobs provided me with? Hell yes, I’m terrified. But if I had to choose again, would I even blink? Assolutamente no.
If you're curious about how I got this article published in Business Insider, check out this post: How I Landed My First Paid Article and 5 Lessons I Learned
Love this! As someone who currently works in tech but loves to travel and write, this whole piece resonated. All the way down to the fear of losing that paycheck. Thank you for sharing your process and linking the second article you wrote!
I’d happily read everything listed under the genre “women who leave it all behind to live their dream life.” Books like Under the Tuscan Sun and Eat Pray Love resonate with so many of us because it’s our secret dream too. Thank you for carrying the torch with your own writing!